ACCEPTANCE - AN ACT OF COURAGE
Editor's Note: This article is a reprint from a post Monique made in LinkedIn in 2015. The subject is still very relevant to leaders today so we thought we'd publish it here too. Enjoy!
A few years ago, on my way to a meeting with a client, I slipped and fell in the parking lot. My left foot throbbing and twisted in a strange shape, I sat, dazed and confused. I finally picked myself up from the concrete, fought the urge to throw up, and walked into the client meeting. I was raised to be responsible and persistent! I wasn’t going to let a stupid fall get in the way of me doing my duty!
Later that day, even as my purple foot was ballooning into the size of a football, I said to my husband: “Oh, it was just a small fall – I’m sure it’s nothing”. It took a lot of cajoling on his part for me to agree to go to urgent care. A few hours later, I was wearing a boot and being told to “rest, ice, compress and elevate.” Thankfully, I hadn’t broken anything.
After all this happened, I asked myself: “Why did I ignore the pain and push forward, instead of admitting that I was injured? What if I had been seriously injured and had not gone to the doctor?” I sighed and realized: “Ah…I wasn’t practicing acceptance.” Accepting my injury meant I’d have to deal with slowing down. It meant I wouldn’t be able to enjoy some activities we had planned that weekend. It also meant - perish the thought - I’d be dependent on others for a while.
All of us have moments when we don’t accept “what is”, when we resist reality even as it stares us in the face. Sometimes we don’t like to acknowledge what’s happening because dealing with it might feel uncomfortable, inconvenient, unfamiliar, scary, or risky. Resistance is about allowing our fear, anger or judgment to take over, and getting stuck.
In the business world, lack of acceptance shows up when we:
Ignore someone’s comments or body language in a meeting and push forward with our agenda anyway
Decide to overlook an employee’s poor performance and hope it will correct itself on its own
Encounter differences with others but avoid what might seem like a challenging conversation
Judge ourselves for having “negative” feelings
In each of these cases, avoiding reality has a high price: a weak connection with others, a less authentic relationship, less collaboration, reduced productivity, a missed opportunity to learn, mediocre results, and zero vitality.
Acceptance is not about condoning or enabling. It’s about acknowledging reality and freeing ourselves up to make a choice and take meaningful action. It’s about having the courage to look reality straight in the eye and answer the question, “What is it time for now”?
What are the areas in your life where you could use – and benefit from - more acceptance? What valuable action could you take today if you were more accepting of “what is”?