HOW BALANCED IS YOUR LEADERSHIP?
Effective leaders focus on the yin-yang of leadership, balancing results and relationships
It’s no secret that modern society (especially the business world and places like Silicon Valley and Wall Street) values, rewards and recognizes task-oriented behaviors, when a leader focuses on the tasks that need to be performed in order to meet certain goals or to achieve a certain performance standard. We admire leaders who are visionary, direct, logical, goal-oriented, and have a bias for action and results. We’re a “get ‘er done” culture. We like the thrill of achieving a hard-earned result. We realize at an early age that political, economic, and educational systems celebrate those who have “made it”, who’ve succeeded through focus and drive.
There are other behaviors which are just as important and are beginning to be more honored and recognized. These are relationship-oriented behaviors, where the leader focuses on the satisfaction, motivation and the general well-being of team members. It includes behaviors such as attention to relationships, intuition, collaboration, patience, inclusion, and empathy. Many people refer to these as “soft” skills , but the truth is, they generate “hard” results too: strong relationships. We are born to be connected to others so we can survive and thrive together. Nothing of great value has ever been achieved by one person alone. As anthropologist Margaret Mead said: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” Relational skills make the world go round.
What’s becoming more and more evident is that a balance of these behaviors is crucial to business success and fulfillment. In a review of leadership 360 data from a norm group of more than 600,000 respondents, leadership researchers Anderson and Adams found that the most effective leaders, i.e., those whom others see as role models who consistently show high quality leadership and help organizations thrive, are strong in both task and relationship capability. They also found that women leaders are seen by others as more effective and get stronger business results than men because they “better balance the yin and yang of leadership” (Mastering Leadership, page 76). Chinese philosophy tells us that both yin and yang are needed to form everything that exists. In the yin-yang symbol, there is a bit of darkness in the light, and a bit of light in the darkness. Each contains a piece of the other. They exist in harmony; one cannot exist without the other. This applies to all of nature, and it applies to leadership behaviors too.
Jacinda Ardern, President of New Zealand, the world's youngest female head of government, is a great example of balanced leadership. When a gunman opened fire on a mosque in March 2019 and killed 50 people, she took immediate action. She refused to make the gunman’s name public. In the span of five days, her coalition government formulated a ban on all the semi-automatic weapons that were used in the Christchurch attack. Ardern also showed empathy: she wore a headscarf and went to the funerals to offer comfort to the survivors. She spoke of unity: "New Zealand mourns with you, we are one". Famous leaders across history balanced task and relationship behaviors. Examples include Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Abraham Lincoln.
It is important to note that context is important. Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard showed through their theory and model of Situational Leadership that some situations require task-oriented leadership, while others require relationship-oriented leadership. Some leadership consultants (Sindell, 2017) recommend that we vary our approach depending on what we are doing. For example, when starting a new project, working toward challenging goals, or going after new clients, we should use a task-oriented approach. We should lead with excitement to ramp up the whole team and inspire employees with the company vision and what is possible in the world. On the other hand, there are times when a relationship-oriented approach, for instance acknowledging emotions and appropriately expressing them, is needed. Sindell suggests that when conflicts arise, leaders should express emotions appropriately and encourage employees to do the same. Leaders should create safety where people vent a little, talk it out, and then find a solution. The bottom line: it’s important for us to become ambidextrous, to tap into the leadership behaviors needed in the moment.
So, how do we do this?
1. Look in the mirror. Notice how often you practice task-oriented and relationship-oriented behaviors. How balanced are you are as a leader? Below are competencies to consider. For a complete assessment that helps you find out how others perceive you and provides a pathway to development, consider doing the Leadership Circle Profile. (Carlo and I are both certified in this instrument - our clients love it!)
On a scale of 1 to 5, how often do you exhibit the following Relating Competencies (from Anderson and Adams)?
Caring Connection: You are interested and able to form warm, caring relationships.
Fosters Team Play: You foster high-performance teamwork with those who report to you, across the organization, and within teams in which you participate.
Collaborator: You engage others in a manner that allows the parties involved to discover common ground
Mentoring and Developing: You’re able to develop others through mentoring and maintaining growth-enhancing relationships.
Interpersonal Intelligence: You effectively listen, engage in conflict and controversy, deal with others’ feelings, and manage your own feelings.
On a scale of 1 to 5, how often do you exhibit the following Achieving Competencies (from Anderson and Adams)?
Strategic Focus: You think and plan rigorously and strategically to ensure that your organization will thrive in the near and long-term.
Purposeful and Visionary: You clearly communicate and model commitment to personal purpose and vision.
Achieves Results: You are goal directed and have a track record of goal achievement and high performance.
Decisiveness: You make decisions on time and are comfortable moving forward in uncertainty.
2. Focus on growing one competency at a time. Be proud of the competencies that are your strength and continue to use them when appropriate. If you are like most of us regular folks and your leadership could be more balanced, pick one of the competencies in your “unbalanced” area to focus on.
3. Examine and test your assumptions about that competency. What were you raised to believe? What were you rewarded for, and what were you berated for? Each of those experiences leaves a mark on us and an aversion or attraction to certain leadership behaviors, and a “commitment” to practice them or not. For example, some women are brought up to be nice, polite, accommodating, and quiet. They may feel afraid of speaking up for fear of being criticized or judged. (This fear is not unfounded – some women are criticized for being too assertive – by other women, no less.) (Thuy Sindell, 2017). Some men believe that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness and are told that “big boys don’t cry” (or show sadness or tenderness). Consider practicing this new competency a way to experiment and test those assumptions and commitments.
4. Identify your “bigger why” around practicing this competency. How does it tie to your bigger leadership purpose? What’s the impact you want to have?
5. Pick a role model. Choose a leader you admire (living or dead, fictional or real) and imagine how they would practice that behavior. Try to embody their qualities.
6. Practice, practice, practice. At first, it may feel like you are using your nondominant hand. It may feel awkward. Allow yourself to be clumsy. Give yourself permission to learn by failing. As Yoda says: “The greatest teacher, failure is.”
7. Attend a workshop that teaches balanced leadership. Hive’s Dare to Lead experience teaches courageous leadership, including vulnerability. Hive’s Rising Tide Program guides groups of women to own their power and shine.
If you take these steps, you will be a more balanced leader, and you be more effective. Today’s world desperately needs balanced leadership from all of us.
Recommended reading:
Anderson, Robert J, and Adams, William A. , Mastering Leadership, An Integrated Framework for Breakthrough Performance and Extraordinary Business Results, Wiley, 2015
3 Ways to Balance the Masculine and the Feminine in Your Leadership Style, Barbara Cox, Conscious Company, 2019