RESPONSE-ABLE LEADERSHIP
Last month, I wrote an article called “When The Only Way Out Is Through”, about building resilience in a time of fear, doubt and uncertainty. Admittedly, writing that article was a way for me to process through my own fear, doubt, and uncertainty by leaning into Brené Brown’s Dare To Lead to remind myself that:
I choose to live and lead bravely and wholeheartedly regardless of my circumstances.
I don’t have to face this situation alone.
Those two conclusions - that I am at choice and remain in connection with others - help me navigate this new reality.
These days I’m finding myself reflecting more deeply on leading bravely and wholeheartedly in these extraordinary circumstances. Let’s face it, our jam is changing and the definition of value creation is changing with it. Our world is shifting into a different gear and inviting us to assess what value is needed right here, right now, and how we can deliver that value faster, for our families, communities, colleagues and consumers. We have an opportunity to recall what’s most important to us and the unique gifts we each bring to the world. We have an opportunity to connect our values and our gifts to what our world needs right here, right now. We have an opportunity to true up our own leadership and point us in the direction of even stronger connection, collaboration and community.
Everyone’s a Leader
Those of you who have participated in our Dare To Lead™ workshops have heard us espouse that belief along with our definition of leadership, “A leader is one who is responsible for their world”. Now, by “responsible”, I mean being “able-to-respond”to your world - “response-able” - and the circumstances that arise in it. More than ever, we need the agility to respond to the chaotic, complex choices that lie ahead. And we need to respond in a way that helps us build resilience and resourcefulness with our teams and our organization.
The Co-Active© Model created by Henry and Karen Kimsey-House and Laura Whitworth of the Co-Active Training Institute (CTI) offers some helpful insight into how we can show up as leaders able to respond to our world. The term “Co-Active” brings together the essential human qualities of being and doing:
Who we are.
Who we are in relationship.
Who we are being and want to be.
How we are actively creating.
What we are doing - or in some cases not doing - to achieve the results we want in work and life.¹
In the Co-Active model, there is dynamic tension between “being” (Co) and “doing” (Active), represented by the hyphen (“-”). The hyphen represents the balance between who we are and what we are doing to create and take responsibility for our world. In essence, who we are “being” creates and supports what we are “doing”. Our actions arise from who we are, giving rise to our own “response-ability”.
As we are called to re-imagine our world in response to COVID-19, our way of being must be able to support the necessary actions that bring that vision to life. As Albert Einstein once said, “If we want to change the world we have to change our thinking...no problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.” We are called to consider who we want to be as leaders, how we need to show up, and what actions support our ability to adapt and thrive, regardless of the circumstances. How do we put this into practice?
Co-Active© Conversations
I maintain that the most empirical piece of work we do every day is the conversation. The extent to which our conversations are productive or not productive, authentic or elusive, open and honest or guarded and protective - determines our ability to lead effectively and impact our world. In fact, Brené Brown’s research revealed that we’re not having the tough conversations, and this is impacting our leadership. This is where a Co-Active approach to conversations can help.
“A co-active conversation has inherent ground rules regarding certain qualities that must be present: respect, openness, compassion empathy and a rigorous commitment to speaking the truth. There are certain assumptions underlying the conversation as well. We assume strength and capability, not weakness, helplessness, or dependence. We assume a deep desire to give the best and achieve potential. A co-active conversation has certain beliefs built into it: that every situation has possibilities and that people really do have the power of choice.
This is a way of being in relationship and being in conversation that shifts the focal point of the conversation from who has rank to what is possible. It shifts the conversation from simply analyzing and problem solving to working together more effectively and learning to be more resourceful so that future issues are actually easier to address because the relationship is resilient and creative.”²
For my colleagues in software development, the aforementioned principle closely resembles “Individuals and Interactions Over Processes and Tools”, the first core tenet of the Agile Manifesto. In fact, Agile is inherently Co-Active, and vice-versa. This opens up possibilities for having disagreements, giving hard feedback and practicing radical candor while putting people and relationships first. Productive, generative conversations - and conflict - are a cornerstone of building resilient and resourceful teams and organizations, especially in this shifting business environment.
Of course, there are many other ways to apply the Co-Active model; Co-Active is central to our 1:1 leadership coaching practice. Monique and I have embedded the model in our Dare To Lead workshops. While it’s true not all conversations fit the definition of a Co-Active conversation, the awareness of these fundamentals can help you see the opportunity in these situations and engage more effectively.
Everyone’s a leader. It’s imperative that each of us is prepared to meet the consumer where they are, at whatever speed they’re running. There is power in the pause, and hopefully you can take a moment in the coming days to consider where you are on your leadership journey and what you want to true up to build resilience and resourcefulness in yourself and our organization. This will go a long way to helping us all continue to serve our consumers - and each other - bravely and wholeheartedly.
Suggested Reading:
Co-Active Leadership: Five Ways to Lead. Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey House.
Co-Active Coaching, Fourth Edition: The proven framework for transformative conversations at work and in life. Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey House, Phillip Sandahl, Laura Whitworth.
Leading from Purpose: Clarity and the Confidence to Act When It Matters Most. Nick Craig.
The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success. Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable. Patrick Lencioni.
The Agile Manifesto. Kent Beck, James Grenning, Robert C. Martin, et al.
